Dear Stairs,

I hate you.

- Nobody Saw That

p.s. I didn't spill my coffee.

Dear Under Paid, Under Appreciated Secretary,

You don't need to take your misfortunes out on me. Maybe if someone would have gone to school they wouldn't be a life long secretary (aka bitch). Please go get laid so that you can stop being a sanctimonious bitch.
Thank you,

-I just wanted to put some shit back from where i got it like a good employee.


p.s. Go. Fuck. Yourself.

Dear China,
I really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really dislike you with a passion.

-America Fuck Yeah

 p.s. Suck It!

Dear Person Who Works Here Than Makes More Money Than I Do,

Oh my God.. How did you know I loved doing your job for you? Yes, I love it! Please give me more of your bullshit to do! This work on my desk means nothing! I love making half of what you make but doing your work.

-Sarcastic

p.s. learn to SPEAK English!! 

Dear Double Sick Tape,
Thank you for making excellent boob tape, I had not realized that this dress was cut so low until i looked down and noticed those things that i pretend are boobs. I really appreciate you saving my ass like that... or boobs...

<3 Maybe i should look in the mirror in the morning.

Dear Woman In the Bathroom on the Phone,
Hi...umm.. what the fuck? Ok, you walked into the bathroom not on the phone... then all of a sudden you began a conversation with someone in some middle eastern language! Now I never heard a phone ring or vibrate so I am going to assume that you called them? With that said, did you just decide "hey, im gonna be here for a while, I better call up Shiek Al-Gizerre and see how his momma is doing.." ? You are stupid.
-I made sure to flush several times in hopes that your toilet -phone buddy would call you out

p.s. 16% of cell phones have poo on them: http://mashable.com/2011/11/09/tech-germs/

Dear Comic Con Hall H Ushers, Why do you always put fat people in the empty seats next to me? Is this karma? And of it is.. Jokes on you... I'm a bitch ;) -I you can't fit in a standard chair you need to reevaluate your life.