Dear Woman In the Bathroom on the Phone,
Hi...umm.. what the fuck? Ok, you walked into the bathroom not on the phone... then all of a sudden you began a conversation with someone in some middle eastern language! Now I never heard a phone ring or vibrate so I am going to assume that you called them? With that said, did you just decide "hey, im gonna be here for a while, I better call up Shiek Al-Gizerre and see how his momma is doing.." ? You are stupid.
-I made sure to flush several times in hopes that your toilet -phone buddy would call you out

p.s. 16% of cell phones have poo on them: http://mashable.com/2011/11/09/tech-germs/